Survivor Dick Pics 

 
Jul 03 2009
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Religious homophobe (and, though the two are not always synonymous, complete idiot) Sherri Shepherd is hawking an autobiographical inspirational book called Permission Slips: Every Woman's Guide to Giving Herself a Break. In it, according to National Enquirer (July 13, 2009), Sherri recounts how she was almost raped by a lesbian.

Chained_heat She was arrested for a traffic violation but was wearing a hoochie outfit (of the variety that born-again Christians, which she is now, do not wear), so the women she was incarcerated with took her for a prostitute. Once she was moved to the Sybil Brand Institute for Women—which sounds like the Sybil Danning Institute for Caged Heat—Sherri says a "masculine female janitor" offered her a Snickers bar. A cellmate told her that if she took the candy she would "be her wife." So she passed.

Moral of the story: Lesbians are like pitbulls, friendly one minute and ravenous the next.
   

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