Calm Down, Fatty

"Fat pride" groups are upset that health care reform might reward things like weight loss.

I have no issue with the idea that bone-skinny isn't the ideal, or that perfect bodies are perfectly rare. I'm not skinny, and have been even more not skinny in the not-so-distant past. But being fat is unhealthy, period. Don't ask me to embrace it as if it's a positive. Someone's weight does not mean they're unworthy of support or respect, or that they're incapable of doing things a slimmer person might be able to do in life. But fat pride is idiotic and any truly fat person who would like to argue that their health is ideal at any weight will think twice when they likely die of a weight-related issue.

(In other news, smokers are a discriminated-against minority, too! Honest! They're just like black people...except the discrimination is even worse.)

Comments

[John]

I agree Matt. It's time this country look at rewarding the right decisions in life...instead of what we've done for the last 50 years...which is reward those who chose to ignore warnings and do unhealthy things. I'm not saying punish them but just reward those of us who choose not to overeat and spend an hour in the gym a few days a week. I think we should get a small tax credit if we show a yearly membership to a gym...

[Afatymous]

Posts like this are so frustrating because there's just much ignorance being tossed around. And I'm speaking generally and not about this particular post specifically and this post alone. It's one of many similar posts of seen in the "gay blogosphere", and it baffles me. People love to complain about overweight/obese people, and use dehumanizing words like "fatty" (and yeah, it is like faggot, both are loaded and hateful, only one is more socially acceptable to fling around than the other. If it hasn't been used as a weapon against you it will be harder to understand, but try spending and day in my shoes and being a fat faggot).

I would be considered obese. No, I'm not in the fat acceptance crowd, I don't think it's just so fucking fantastic and great to be overweight. I know I need to lose weight, but I don't have access to health care or proper medical treatment/advice. I haven't been to a doctor in years, because I can't afford it, which is also why I don't have health insurance. If I could afford it, I probably couldn't get it. I can't afford a gym membership, nor, judging by the gyms I've been to in the past, would I be made to feel particularly welcome in one (oh, the irony).

I'm in my mid-20s and have been overweight my entire life because of the family situation I grew up in. Unfortunately my family's eating habits were quite poor, and I picked it up from a very young age. A lot of it has to do with being educated about food and exercise and seeing your doctor regularly, none of which happened as I was growing up. Now I am wiser about food, but I'm starting at a disadvantage, and it's a lot harder with no health insurance/no doctor's advice/no health screenings/basically no access to things that are of paramount importance if you want to be healthy. So when I see dismissive attitudes and derogatory terms issued so freely, especially from a community that's still fighting against ignorance and discrimination, it makes me a little angry.

If you're going to malign and dehumanize us, and push us to the side and dismiss the real problems that we face on a day-to-day basis by saying things like "just lose weight, fatty", how do you expect people like me to not feel stomped on and more likely to give in to one of our obvious weaknesses? I'm not saying throw me a parade, just don't beat me down and then act so casual about the effects of what you're doing.

[Matthew Rettenmund]

Afatymous: First, when you say you're not in the fat-acceptance crowd, that's what my post was about, so we basically agree.

Second, I was very heavy, and not just in a stocky way, forever and ever, so I know how annoying it is and how you feel like you can't change it, how changing your diet or even exercising more isn't a quick fix and that makes you all the more depressed and defeated. The complication of not having medical care is even worse, and not just re weight.

My blog post never said fat people should "just lose weight, fatty." I know that losing weight can be SO FUCKING HARD. I see skinny friends eating whatever they want while my weight Judy Garlands up and down based on if I ate a sweet vs. regular potato that day.

All I can tell you is that for me, what worked was Weight Watchers. But you need not pay and join it to use a similar method: Veggies of all kinds are okay in any amount (aside from death-defying), lean protein is best, and skip anything obviously "bad" like pizza, pasta, desserts, etc. (WW desserts are good but pricy as hell.) I also find that eating 5 times a day is better than 3 and going hungry. That got me to lose some. Regular exercise got me to lose more, but that is harder to tell someone to do. Without $ (and a gym), I would suggest walking a mall (or a mile).

Finally, I'm sure you're reacting to "Calm Down, Fatty," but just FYI that is a play on an infamous blog posting at I think WWTDD that was used on a pic of the not-fat but no-longer-svelte Britney Spears when she was acting a fool. It was more making fun of making fun, but anyway, I'm not in the habit of ostracizing overweight people just for kicks. We all have issues. It would be like randomly making fun of someone bald, handcapped, old, female, etc. All of which happens.

I do have to object to equating "fat" with "fag." I have been to both and one is a mean taunt with a million comparables while the other really is a slur in the right (wrong) context.

Finally, I'm not a body Nazi; I like men of various sizes. Obese is not at the top of my list, but I've been with that as well! Not that you asked. And no, I'm not hitting on you, I swear.

Thanks for replying. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

[Afatymous]

Matthew, thanks for the reply, it's definitely appreciated. Yes, I was reacting, and I didn't get the joke, but I do get what you're saying. And like I said, it wasn't a reaction specifically about your post, as it was something pent up that I felt the need to comment on.

Re: "fat" vs. "fag", my point really was that both have been used against me viciously, and in my experience, interchangeably so. If it's not one, it's the other, or both. I appreciate that there is a distinction and I don't disagree with you.

I do love the blog, though, and again, thanks for your reply.

[Snottyboy]

To Afatymous and any other unpleasantly plumper,
Having access to insurance has nothing to do with your weight. Neither does access to a gym. I am going to apologize now for offending you however...
I grew up with a southern family and things like fried chicken, chicken fried steak, fried okra, gravy, (are you seeing the pattern yet?) were on the table. I somehow grew up a skinny kid until I was nearly in my mid-30s. Then a few changes plunged me into outright fatness. Not chubby or plump. FAT. The changes were of my own doing. I suspect (but don't know for sure) that your weight is directly connected to the life you live. If you are smart enough to read this blog then I think you know what you need to do to change your life. I hope you don't feel I am trying to over-simplify things by saying' Just lose the weight'. It is not easy. I am struggling with it now. But don't blame your weight on insurance or gyms or lack thereof. There is this thing called a library, they're free. Start informing yourself and making informed choices. For me it was spending one dollar on a used copy of South Beach Diet and I was shocked to find it actually does work.
I do agree with you that name calling, negative labeling, etc don't do anything but demoralize people and hinder their results. On the other hand use those examples to give you strength and change your life. And when you're healthy and fit find those people that called you negative names and beat the living shit out of them!