"Yep, I'm Bitter"

Sean Hayes gives his first interview in which he acknowledges he's gay to The Advocate, but it's not something that's likely to endear him to many people. Those who already like him just fine with or without an on-the-record confirmation of his sexuality are likely to find him sounding disillusioningly bitter, and those who thought he should have just said he was gay years ago are likely to feel he's waited to come out until he knew for sure he was safe. 

His central argument is a vehement "nobody owes anything to anybody," a fabulously Randian point of view and one that is easy enough to argue. He also carps that it's "never enough" for the gay media, but I think people are quite satisfied with Ellen DeGeneres being out and the amount of things she does for the gay community balanced with how she does her job. Anyway, for me, it's not about the "owing"; if he feels it's his right to be gay and not acknowledge that, I agree, but I also feel it's the media's right and his fans' right to wonder about it, ask about it and (in the case of his fans) to express disappointment in his lack of candor.

I think honesty is the core issue here, not who owes what to whom. Hayes claims he's never been "in." I think, from the context of the article, he and his friend Kristen Chenoweth think that because he never pretended to have a girlfriend or got married, this is a major accomplishment. No, not really; it does speak to his character, but the fact that anyone does that sort of thing in the first place speaks more about how truly warped they are more than how truly admirable Hayes is.

He also holds it against The Advocate that they ran a clip-job "interview" with him when Will & Grace was ending, a piece that made his coyness about his sexual orientation seem ridiculous. Yet he had always refused to speak with the magazine—what were they supposed to do? Ignore him? Too often, celebrities think the media are or should be a 100% compliant part of their PR machine. (And too often, the media thinks the same thing. So kudos to gay-interest magazine The Advocate for having had some backbone when one of America's biggest gay-but-won't-say stars was keeping himself at arm's length.)

Hayes—who'll be starring on Broadway in the revival of Promises, Promises—also has a strange perspective on his career, expressing dissatisfaction that he never landed leading man roles. I don't think he was ever in the running for those; Eric McCormack has a more legit beef in that arena. Openly gay, professionally closeted or not gay at all, Hayes does not look, sound or act like the VERY narrow idea of what a leading man should be. That is how Hollywood works; it's rare for people to buck Hollywood's unimagination, but don't hate the game because you lost if you're going to spend your entire career until now attempting to play it.

That said, he has nothing to be bitter about—he was on one of the most beloved TV shows in history, made a mint, did in fact get some other acting gigs and at only 39 has many years in which to find himself as an actor. I hope he won't spend it with such a chip on his shoulder—he's too talented to be so petty. And as odd as it may sound coming from Hayes himself, when he says, "I feel like I've contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America," I agree with him. I think the writers are more important, but his performance as Jack, as over-the-top as some would argue it was, was ingratiating and had heart and made a difference along with making people laugh.

Hayes should know that it's not "never enough" for the gay community; simply acknowledging he's gay and being good at what he does can be enough. Was that so hard?

Comments

[17Days]

he's carrying around a lot of airbrushing and filler for a man of only 39.

[Jay]

The filler helps balance the chip on his shoulder when he walks.

[Felix]

I also agree that he is VERY talented. But one needs to learn how to play the Hollywood game, neither him or Rupert Everett are going to land the same roles Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper will.

But that's OK, because they could get even more transcendent parts if they play their game wisely. But first you have to drop the attitude and stop blaming the industry, the media, the gays, etc.

"You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" they say.

[Augustus]

I believe in freedom and equality: everywhere, anywhere, whenever, whichever and whoever. Freedom and equality include the right to privacy and it must be respected. I also believe this must be practised and not only given lip service, whether the person is out of the closet or not. I've always wondered where this closet is. I've not seen it. Or, is this a community where people can keep their lives private? I've used the unity in the gay community for other so-called minorities to emulate for political and economic empowerment. Can people ask now what unity?

[David Ehrenstein]

Of course he's bitter. NPH is golden while he's "What was your name again?"

The Closet, Augustus, is the pretense creeps like Hayes promulgate that they have "private lives."

[SteveDenver]

Jay & David, Thanks for your humorous SLAP DOWNS!

He's a one-note actor whose failure to exhibit enthusiasm and generosity (not to be mistaken with cracked out energy and wringing stereotypes to death) have yielded what he planted.

As a famous local drag queen once said: "If I am my own biggest fan, I risk being my only fan. That's why Mimi Mee loves you you you."

Hayes seems self-absorbed and that can be so boring.

[Bossy Bottom]

Honestly, I thought Sean Hayes had come out years ago. It’s not like he was ever fooling anyone in that he certainly does not fly below the gaydar. I don’t expect entertainers to necessarily come out, because they are in a catch-22. The gay community wants celebrities to come out as a political statement, but if coming out ruins their careers, the political statement doesn’t end up making much of an impact.

[David Ehrenstein]

Coming out ruins your career?

Where's Kevin Spacey's career? Should be going great guns, shouldn't it?

Obviously Ian McKellen has ruined his career, hasn't he?

So wise of Matthew Bomer to follow Spacey's example. He'll go far.

[Matt the Bruins fan]

Aside from that not-widely-seen gay indie film back in the 90s, what has Hayes contributed to the gay movement? A grotesque Stepin Fetchit equivalent that embodied the worst stereotypes about gay men in the minds of millions of TV viewers for years? Thanks just the same, but I prefer to reserve respect and accolades for celebrities that actually make *positive* contributions and work toward bettering the lives of people in the gay community.

[jcksincty]

I think that it is wise for him to focus his career on Broadway at this time in his life.

[Mykelb]

Sean came out in an Advocate piece over 10 years ago. It's just that he doesn't say "Hello, I'm gay Sean" every time he introduces himself. Get over it.

[kenneth]

>>but I think people are quite satisfied with Ellen DeGeneres being out and the amount of things she does for the gay community balanced with how she does her job<<

Really? In general, I think he's on to something here. I could be wrong, but weren't people ganging up on Ellen for not using her "platform" to fight back more on Prop 8 and not donating more money? I thought that's what led to her finally doing that PSA.

And what's up with the tone of your post? I've always known you to think "Will & Grace" was pretty weak, and don't you usually refer to Sean Hayes as "Douche" for short?!!!

And to Felix: did you just happen to pick Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper for your example, or was that deliberate given the fact that both of them are widely rumored to be "friends of Jack McFarland"?!!!

[Matthew Rettenmund]

Kenneth: No, I don't think Ellen felt any kind of scathing heat over her inaction on Prop 8. Her inaction WAS pointed out and she DID do a PSA...but what's wrong with that? I certainly don't think she was hounded or her career suffered for it. She was more damaged by that dog scandal of a few years ago. I give her a Prop 8 pass because I think a LOT of gay people, famous (and infamous!) and not had no clue that was going to pass until it was too late to turn the tide.

The tone of my post...you mean negative vs. Sean or positive vs. WILL & GRACE? I loved WILL & GRACE at first and always loved Debra Messing and Megan Mulally. I could take or leave McCormack. Hayes was hit or miss for me, but I could see his appeal. The show was inarguably a huge deal for gay America even if I really got so bored with it as a show (Harry Connick and other reasons). There were still brilliant aspects in most seasons.

I just think Hayes's tone in the interview is so shockingly embittered. Would it have killed him to have given an interview to the gay newsmagazine of record while his show was a smash hit? Did his stubborn refusal to acknowledge he's gay win him lots of big roles and personal happiness?

[Nursing tank]

LOL, you're bitter ayt! :D

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