David Brooks turns in a savagely brilliant piece that mocks Mitt Romney's flip-flopping and ever-evolving personal history (maybe we should ask for his birth certificate?) in advance of his expected acceptance of the Republican nomination.

A few bars:

"Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

"Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words ('I like to fire people') at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal."

Yeah, it's great.