"You stink!"

"You stink like a pig."

"Caca-face."

"Are you hungry?"

"Want a snack?"

"Want some food?"

"Do you like peanut butter?"

"This isn't for dogs."

"Be good girl." 

"Baby-baby."

"Gorgeous baby." 

"Are you my baby?"

"It's Daddy!"

"I purchased you."

"Come."

"Poop."

"Go pee."

"Go s'eepy."

"Go to bed."

"Let's go to grooming."

"Go vet."

"Wanna go?"

"Wanna get a bath?"

"Chihuahua!"

"Are you a little cat?"

"Where's Papi?"

"Listen..."

"No barking!"

"Look at that big dog."

"You're a big dog now!"

"I want to go this way."

"Sit."

"Kissy." [Face-licking ensues.] "No." [Face-licking halts, whining begins.] "Okay." [Cycle repeats.]

"I love you."