boy culture

In & Out

Globe (December 14, 2009) has its ongoing "Who's Gay and Who's Not in Hollywood" feature. Here's the tally, according to them: 

Oscar Tourette's: Part 1

Don't like Miley's dress and Penelope Cruz looks (gasp!) plain.

I was not aware that Lisa Rinna had, apparently, died.

Phoebe Cates is fucking ageless. Looks like she climbed out of that pool and onto the red carpet. Forty-five!

Everyone is buzzing about Mickey Rourke. After seeing The Wrestler, I had a hard time seeing how he'd lose, but Sean seemed to regain momentum, culminating with that SAG Award. But...I don't know. The Oscars have been doing rebound award a lot lately.

Speaking of him: How the heck did Mickey Rourke keep a dog alive for 18 years? He's barely kept himself alive.

I'm scared to see how Madonna is going to look and how her debut with Jesus Luz will go over.

As my buddy Jason said of the Slumdog kids, "Please return your tux before you go back to living in filth."

Brangelina are too far up their own asses at these events. Angelina, you are a mortal woman.

Zac's so cute, but he shouldn't refer to Dev Patel as a "kid." He did say Milk was his favorite movie (but buddy Lucas Grabeel appeared in it, so that might've swung his vote).

Viola Davis looks like she's wearing a Marilyn Monroe gown. I like.

Sophia Loren has more filler than an eighth-grade English essay, but still looks pretty hot. I'm dying to see Nine.

Ben. Lyons. Is. An. Idiot.

Frank Langella loves Nixon after playing him? FUCK THAT.

I totally knew Hugh would lead with an Australia joke.

I LOVE THE STAGE. I LOVE THE FORMER WINNERS PRESENTING. I WAS ABOUT HALF AND HALF ON THE KITSCHY SONG-AND-DANCE, BUT POINTS FOR EFFORT.