boy culture

What's America Coming To When Mariah Carey Can't Score A #1 Album...?

Its senses.

In a week when Mariah Carey—who moved over 400,000 of her last CD in its opening frame—should have sailed to #1 easily with Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, it appears she will have to settle for #3. Final SoundScan numbers (which are different from yesterday's Hits numbers) reveal that 67-year-old Barbra Streisand goes to #1 with 180,415 units sold of her jazzy Love Is the Answer (her first chart-topper since 1997) and Paramore's Brand New Eyes is close behind with 175,112. Mariah only managed to move 167,912 copies, a shockingly low number.

Madonna's hits package Celebration comes in at #7 (matching the performance of her last best-of, GHV2) with 72,159 sold. Not bad at all for what it is, and slightly higher than expectations.

 

It would appear that Madonna's begrudging TV promos (Letterman, SNL) boosted her a bit, and that Streisand's truly committed and uncharacteristically charming TV promos boosted her a lot.

I think Mariah's issue is just Mimi fatigue—she just had an album out last year and has been in the 'bloids a lot with her hubby. I actually think tabloid coverage hurts album sales, so that is probably a big factor. Soak up the great reviews for Precious then go away for a while and she'll be back in vogue. (Though the decision to re-release an entirely remixed version of her album almost immediately doesn't signal that her people agree with my assessment!)

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Without Question

For those who think there is no room in my heart for other divas beyond Madonna, my recent embrace of Lady GaGa was just one counterargument. I also definitely appreciate Barbra Streisand, though I can't say that I spend lots of time listening to her catalogue. (I don't listen to Madonna's either.) Not loving jazz, it surprised me how much I took to Love is the Answer (Columbia), Streisand's latest collection devoted to the genre that sometimes confounds me.

Vanguardian Angel

Barbra Streisand's show at the Village Vanguard sounds like amazing fun (so much so it even spilled out onto the streets), and it's the kind of promotional event that I love to see megastars doing.

It reminds me of when Madonna suddenly did a CD signing (back in 2000, to plug Music) and when she first started her now habitual club gigs (the Roxy in 1998 was a highlight of all my Madonna sightings), except of course this is more momentous.

More pictures like this here.

I saw Barbra at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino, but it was a short set and she was sick as a dog. Even then it was magical and I'm not much of a fan.

Live From New York, It's...Madonna?

You read it here first: I have it on good authority that Madonna is all lined up to appear on Saturday Night Live for the first time in 16 years—in fact, they're desperately seeking to have her host and perform. She might wind up doing one or the other, but if she does the double, it would be her first time. since 1985.

All of Madonna's appearances on the show have been memorable. Her 1985 season opener had some off moments but was the funniest of that tumultuous 

season and she showed good comic chops. Then there was her unforgettable "Wayne's World" mash-up with "Justify My Love," her funny Bill Clinton serenade in full Marilyn Monroe gear and her "Fever" and "Bad Girl" renditions (the latter of which ranks among her best live TV performances).

Of course, her ultimate appearance was the clip above—if Madonna does do SNL this year, please, please force her to resuscitate her "Liz Rosenberg" character!

Of course, stunts like this one will make for some awkward moments.

Bernhard: With A Vengeance

Confession: She's still a pretty (funny) lady.

Sandra Bernhard was in rare form at her one-night-only 20th (or so) anniversary  performance of Without You I'm Nothing at Town Hall in Manhattan last night. Rare because, as much as that original show completely cracked me up (even if I only ever experienced it as the mind-fucking hilarious avant-garde documentary) as both funny stand-up and as an unembarrassed flaunting of a performer's encyclopedic pop-culture knowledge, she has almost never truly amused me since.

Without Madonna, she's something.

Of course, being a Madonna stalwart, it was hard to continue embracing Bernhard after their highly public rift because instead of letting it go she has seemed to  continue bashing Madonna ever since. Maybe Madonna was a total cunt to her, maybe she never fucked Bernhard but did fuck her girlfriend Ingrid Casares—I have no idea. But whatever happened, and no matter who was to blame for breaking up the so-called "Snatch Batch," it affected Bernhard so deeply it seemed to me she was knocked off her game and has never recovered it fully. She was a highlight of Will & Grace, but she's never had a creatively satisfying follow-up to Without You. (I'm Still Here, Damn It didn't do it for me, damn it!) Maybe the fact that this latest tour has incorporated the best bits from that ground-breaking set will be rejuvenating; her fresh material still is not being taken as seriously by Bernhard (it's delivered as traditional stand-up and not in that bewitchingly self-absorbed cabaret persona that delivered the original show and she had to consult her notes to remember some of it), but it's pretty damn funny.

After entering the (not sold out) hall to a partial standing O, Bernhard—an ageless 54 in a slinky black cocktail dress, her hair up—generously walked us through the Carol Kruger tear-jerker (reinvented as narcissistic knee-slapper) "The Commitment," segueing into a pastiche of classic showtunes (a highlight being a fragment of Barbra Streisand's "People" sung with Ethel Merman's sensitivity) before some funny remembrances of her recent stint in England.

Next? To Normal

Unbelievably, Barbra Streisand might be back on board to actually finally make a movie out of Larry Kramer's AIDS drama The Normal Heart. All the details—including a history lesson on her initial interest, then lack of action, then battle royale with Kramer—are at Outrate.

Totally Awesome '80s: The Way She Were

I'm not saying it's a dead-ringer sitch, but there is an unexpected resemblance (the eyes, the way they sometimes set their faces) between 1980s Susan Boyle (who sings "The Way We Were" quite beautifully in a newly discovered video) and The Real Housewives Of New York City's human boil Alex.

February 16, 1985

Continuing with my posts on some old Billboard charts I just bought, looking at the chart for February 16, 1985, it's amazing what was on the Top Pop Albums chart simultaneously.

The Top 10:

#1 Like A Virgin by Madonna. I creamed over this album—I just absolutely loved it all the way through. I still do. Okay, I don't love "Material Girl" anymore, but the rest is pure pop perfection. I even love and never skip "filler" like "Shoo-Bee-Doo" which is gorgeous. I hate that "Stay" (the video is an unreleased early version of "Stay") and "Over And Over" were never U.S. singles. Even her high-camp, melodramatic "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" is a hot mess of fun. I bought this album at a record store in Water Street Pavilion in Flint, Michigan, and I think I bought a Culture Club album the same day.

The Italian single of "Over And Over" sells for hundreds of dollars in 2009.

#2 Born In The U.S.A. by Bruce Springsteen. A great record even if I was never much of a Boss fan. Listening back, all of his umpteen singles from this are still good listens today. He was hot, too.

#3 Make It Big by Wham!. I loved their singles, but I don't believe I ever bought their album, which is weird. I literally bought every Wham! single and every early George Michael single. I always thought of the title of this album as referring to the most useful thing to do when you encounter an unguarded penis.

Big deal.

So "Emotion"al

With thanks to Mark for pointing this out, here's a ridiculous short on the making of Barbra Streisand's ridiculous (I liked it at the time, too!) pop song, "Emotion." She actually says at one point that Roger Daltrey "kept wanting to make this into a feature," this painfully cheesy little vanity clip about a 43-year-old woman whose hubby is not interested in her. I think this was her last attempt at the Top 40 market, though she would go on to do well with adult-contemporary ballads that crossed over. I mean, purple hair!

I also like how in the beginning her voice is so badly overdubbed to say, "I'm always drawn to the  sensual!"

Look, the greatest artists are great because they don't let the fear of looking idiotic stop them from making statements, and this is an example of that—a superdedicated try that was so off it was instantly campy. 

I really think Madonna has patterned herself after Streisand; I know they knew each other when Madonna was a Downtown sensation and had dinner and chatted. Just listening to Streisand discuss how part of this video was inspired by Bertolucci, all I could think of was Madonna referencing Scorsese and the like.

The actual video is after the jump...

Kissing To Be Clever

What do you think Bush found more objectionable, handing a Kennedy Center honor to Barbra Streisand, kissing Barbra Streisand or shaking the hand of a European dude once the subject of child-porn charges (Pete Townsend)?