Some people trace Cloris Leachman's erratic behavior to the time when she publicly harangued Mel Brooks for not casting her in the Broadway version of Young Frankenstein. I think it started when she agreed to appear in Spanglish in 2004. But whenever it started, it started—she apparently behaved a bit bonkers on a recent Oprah MTM reunion...asking Oprah to step out of a cast picture on her own set! How Phyllis of her.
Kathie Lee Gifford allegedly introduced Hoda Kotb to Eduardo Verastegui...as a romantic possible. YEAH, RIGHT! What is National Enquirer (May 12 2008) smoking?
The National Enquirer and Globe are both owned by American Media, and since the American media have been so dead-set on creating conflict regarding every minute detail of anything Hillary or Barack do (while ignoring McCain's many gaffes and controversies), this week's (May 5, 2008) cover stories should come as no surprise.
Seems Hillary's lezzing out with her aide Huma Abedin (this is an old rumor, yet Globe trumpets it as a "WORLD EXCLUSIVE"). Cleverly attempting to undermine Hillary as much as possible—knowing that stories of her lesbianism have already been around and have not decapitated her politically—Globe goes for the throat with, "Secrets Of Muslim Beauty Who Won Hillary's Heart." I suppose Obama's camp should have him say, "My dad may have been a Muslim, but I'm not—and I've never had sex with one."
Enquirer continues attacking the Obamas with a story that their marriage has "exploded" (like a suicide bomber?) that amounts to nothing more than a rumor that Michelle Obama has asked Barack to 'fess up right now to any infidelities from his past. This is what passes for a cover story at check-out.
People wonder why I read 'bloids, but this shit hits home with a lot of people—a lot of them. The same people who make their voting decisions based on who they'd rather have a beer with or who bowls better.
I can't explain why, but I read every word of Globe's account of Doris Day's sexual history (she tried to keep her fourth marriage going solely because her hubby was "well hung," she was rumored to be a lesbian), plastic surgery (she had a 1984 facelift—past 60—to help assuage her fears of public appearances to no avail) and various scandals. I like some of her movies and loved her TV show because I had no idea what was even going on back then, and it's never rerun so it's like a favorite dream by now. I think I like proof that perfection—especially America' puritanical perception of what constitutes perfection—doesn't exist.
I like picturing Doris meeting Mickey Mantle and deciding the two American archetypes should fuck just because why not?
The article is peppered with factoids and quotes from the books Doris Day: The Reluctant Star and Doris Day: The Untold Secrets Of The Girl Next Door (published by, I kid you not, Virgin Books).
Also in Globe is a scandalous (not) piece "revealing" that Big Brother's "Crazy James" did hardcore gay porn. This came out ages ago, plus he spoke very knowledgeably about anal sex with men during an unaired chat with Joshuah, so it's not as shocking as America's sweetheart was insatiable in the sack.
Big Brother's big slut? Big deal.
As I posted, the Marilyn porn story sounded farfetched to me. Turns out, others agree. I would bet money Morgan is faking the whole thing.
In Touch (April 28, 2008) reports that mediatakeout.com claims Vanessa Williams is dating...Tyler Perry. She's a former Miss America and he's quite a queen himself. I don't think so!
Even Vanessa is incredulous, exclaiming, "Are you kidding me?"
National Enquirer (Aprili 14, 2008) has a full-page story on Raymond Burr. He's been dead nearly 15 years, yet his sexuality is still breaking news. With quotes from Hiding In Plain Sight: The Secret Life Of Raymond Burr, the article points out that Burr—deathly afraid of being exposed—invented three wives and a dead son to throw people off the scent. He even dragged poor Natalie Wood into it, insinuating that they'd been lovers when he was 38 and she was 17.
I wrote about Burr in Blind Items: A (Love) Story, using him to explore the mentality of the fans who passionately love a star but who just as passionately deny the reality of his sexuality. The Claymates know what I'm talking about.
Life & Style (March 31, 2008) asks: "Is Madonna Having A Midlife Crisis?"
Life & Style (March 31, 2008)
Interesting. More so because Life & Style ran the same exact headline December 10, 2007 along with a nearly identical story—even the design is shockingly similar, with "Mid" and "Life" breaking at the page break and several photos (including one from the same event in 2005) illustrating her plastic surgery and other telltale signs of not wanting to grow old.
Life & Style (December 10, 2007)
You know what's really getting old? Life & Style.
In Touch (March 31, 2008) has a similar article with a more positive slant—it's not that she's in a midlife crisis (is she hoping to live to age 99? see, I can recycle, too), it's that her marriage is in crisis. In Touch sees Madonna as a sexpot who's raking her disinterested hubby over the coals by being touchy-feely with Orlando Bloom and Justin Timberlake...two other disinterested guys.
Life & Style (March 31, 2008)
You know what's really uninteresting? In Touch.
Globe (March 31, 2008) kicks it up a notch with the Chace Crawford/JC Chasez speculation—openly suggesting Carrie Underwood might lose her man to a "Brokeback heartbreak." My question is: Do tabloids realize that homosexuality existed prior to Brokeback Mountain?
I like a beautiful body as much as the next guy. But am I crazy to think Carson Kressley—who is not my type—looks great? Yes, a pink Speedo is quite a flamboyant statement that not many people can pull off, and that probably a lot of people would deny wanting to pull off. But he looks quite fit with a small belly. He's over 40 and I bet he looks better naked than the Us-appointed critics making fun of him.
