boy culture

The Gay Boogie

Here come the brides.

I've always liked Ellen—I even sat through her sitcom, which was brilliant in fits and unfit for television in bits. I liked her more than I ever could have thought possible when she came out, was disappointed when I saw her in person and she did not radiate warmth (to be fair, I was with a camera crew and she probably thought we were after her, which we weren't) and have enjoyed her talk show to an extent. The extent to which I don't enjoy it is that every once in a while, it bugs me that the smart, hip, 50-year-old lesbian has to dance to engage her adult audience. I don't despise the dance, and I see it as a smart branding thing that she probably tripped into, but it comes off as phony. For me.

The rest of her show isn't phony; her bubbliness—unlike when Rosie had her talk show, whose fake persona I loathed—seems to be genuine. And while I sometimes wish she were more political (I hate when people say they're not political...we all should be since politics affects every facet of our lives), I have to give her credit for being openly, unapologetically gay. That is really enough.

But beyond that, she spoke passionately about Lawrence King this year in a move that really blew me away. And now that the conservative-heavy (so much for "activist judges") California supreme court has ruled that gay marriage should be legal (possibly going into effect within 30 days), Ellen has not let us—or herself—down: She's announced on her show that she plans to marry Portia de Rossi.

I think Ellen, with her visibility and her appeal to citizens from eight to 80, is probably the most important, directly impactful (even if it's not a word) figure in the gay-rights movement. And for that, I can overlook her cloying dance routine. In fact, her stealthy success at making a difference helps me understand what all that dancing could be about in the first place.

Sue Unhappy

I always liked Sue Simmons...strangely, I like her more now:

Sue from News 4 Cursing

I'm betting she was laying into a slow cue-card guy (wait, do they still have those?) or maybe even Chuck Scarborough.

More people in the media should be asking us this question. And we should be asking this question of more in the media.

Epilogue To A Diss

Via Towleroad, this is a must-see TV: the infamous "Shrek" lady (Monica Conyers, who I never realized was the wife of John Conyers) gets pwned by a very on-point kid:

The woman can not even admit it was wrong when asked point-blank!

I know tempers can flare up, but you know what? This woman is nuts. I also have zero tolerance for people who talk incessantly about "respect" and display none of it. You do not gain respect by plowing over and bullying others. Someone should turn the hose on her next time because her behavior was no better than that of a dog.

In other news, Detroit continues to be a shithole. I hope Barack will remember Michigan, because I bet Michigan will vote for him and my home state—if not each and every one of its inhabitants—is about due for some respect.

Reality Sucks

I'm not one to defend Marilyn Monroe's "honor"—as a longtime fan, I know to accept that she definitely sucked a few cocks as a way up the Hollywood ladder just like countless others before and after her. The difference is that the rest of her body was as talented as her mouth when it came to acting.

But I don't believe the Marilyn hardcore-porn story for several (non-judgmental) reasons...

Going Down

Via Gawker, this video is sped-up surveillance footage from a man's 41-hour ordeal trapped in an elevator. It accompanies a New Yorker story, which reveals how the man's life fell apart after his experience—he only got a meager six-figure settlement for his troubles, and that came after another lengthy wait (four years). It's incredible to watch.

The Pianist

As a fan of The Office, I can't wait for its return. I missed the latest rerun, but read at Defamer that they dedicated it to a boy who died of pneumonia and flu. Nathan Robinson had mastered the show's theme song and posted it on YouTube. Watching it now and realizing he died so suddenly, so young from something so common—in stark contrast to his uncommon talents—is very sobering:

Also sad is the fact that his family had to put a stern warning against rude comments and spam when they updated the video. Imagine...we're in a place now where this is a necessary admonition.

Beat It?

From People (April 7, 2008), a little good news from the HIV front. A lengthy profile of Jake Glaser (son of Paul Michael Glaser and his late wife, AIDS activist Elisabeth) reveals him to be a hot 'n' healthy 23-year-old with a great attitude about the virus he's carried from birth, and that killed his mother and sister.

I learned from the article that a mutation in the CCR5 gene may be one reason some people (fewer than 10%) seem to live asymptomatically with HIV for long (indefinite?) periods of time—Glaser doesn't even require medication anymore, though he's vigilant about his health and about using condoms. Another interesting fact from the piece:

"In 1993 the life expectancy of people with HIV was seven years; today, with improved treatment, it's 24 years from the date of diagnosis."

Still no excuse for tossing safe sex out the window in your twenties and thirties, but amazing progress.

The Glaser Family, 22 years after HIV.

Words, They Cut Like A Knife

I love Towleroad; I read it daily and encourage you to do so, too. But I try to avoid delving into the comments even if I will comment myself. I don't know how such an even-handed and intelligent news aggregate can attract so many backassward commenters. It almost feels like Andy posts sensible takes and subtly expresses a queer-positive bent, and this brings out the jaded, apathetic gays who are apologists for the other side. If he posts on a gay marriage win, there is invariably a commenter saying he wouldn't wanna get married anyway, missing the point.

Today, Andy posted on a disturbing study from the UK that lists the 11 most common pejoratives in UK schools. They are:

1 Gay (83%)
2 Bitch (59%)
3 Slag (45%)
4 Poof (29%)
5 Batty boy (29%)
6 Slut (26%)
7 Queer (26%)
8 Lezzie (24.8%)
9 Homo (22%)
10 Faggot (11%)
11 Sissy (5%)

Take note: Eight (not nine, as I misstated on Andy's blog) of the 11 words are explicitly anti-gay in origin. An expert on slang seems to water down the idea that homophobia—as opposed to the use of coincidentally homophobic words—is rampant in the schools:

"'I have interviewed scores of school kids about this and they are always emphatic that it has nothing at all to do with hostility to homosexuals,' says Mr Thorne, compiler of the Dictionary of Contemporary Slang. 'It is nearly always used in contexts where sexual orientation and sexuality are completely irrelevant.'"

To take people (especially kids, who are even more likely to give answers they intuit to be the "right" thing to say) at their word shows that the slang pro should stick to etymology and avoid scientific sociological research.

I Can't Stress This Enough

Yet again, the Scientologists invaded Port Authority to offer "free stress tests" and had plenty of suckers sitting down, not realizing that this way lies Tom Cruise. They have no right to do this within the public transit system. What's more annoying is that the cops reserve the right to stop you and search your backpack (which I've never seen happen, actually), and yet a large "religious" group can waltz in with folding tables, chairs and signage and set up shop for commercial purposes. Give me a break, Bloomberg.

I reported them to an employee, who said she had no power to remove them, and that I had to file a complaint. "Fine," I said. "How about calling your boss at least?" Nope, even that was beyond the scope of her job. Comforting.

Half-Assed

Riviera Beach, FL, has voted overwhelmingly to outlaw saggy pants.

(L) The law seems like a modern-day "Zoot suit" rebellion against an initially black style. (C) But not only blacks do it. (R) Even Zac Efron takes the plunge!

This. Is. Insane. Aside from what I would expect—a bunch of (old) people saying, "Good! I hate saggy pants!"—the point is that the government is going to legislate a fucking dress code? Here is what is in store for offenders:

"The ordinance bans anyone from wearing saggy pants that expose underwear or skin. The first offense carries a $150 fine or community service; the second, a $300 fine or more community service. Habitual offenders face the controversial penalty of spending up to 60 days in jail."

I can't remember the last time I went through a day without seeing somebody's underwear or asscrack—oh, wait, yes I can. It was one day in 1990. Like it or not, this is a style of dress that is popular, and frankly I don't see how it rises to the level of public nudity. I've found it pretty silly when I've seen guys walking self-consciously because their pants were literally down past their ass and they kept having to pull them up, but I never thought, "You know, this person should be in jail."

Besides...if you're going to ban that, what do you do with this:

(Yes, that is a leading question.)

It makes me wonder how many other half-assed laws people would vote for, Constitution be damned.