Last night at XL, the Season 5 premiere party for RuPaul's Drag Race unfurled. Like many of the show's storied contestants, it was a hot mess in a hot dress.

Snooki's a new mommy but JWoww brought her twins

First up was a mob-scene photo op. Why the sudden interest? Is drag going to be the next "Gangnam Style"? Nope. It was because fellow Viacommies Snooki and JWoww had been paid lured to semi-host the evening, so the event photographers were champing at the bit. I was late so missed some of the pint-sized supernovae, but I did find it funny when Snooki and JWoww wouldn't do solo shots and wouldn't even do a simple two-shot against the backdrop for the salivating photogs. (One of whom kept shouting, "J.Lo! J.Lo!" while others kept shouting, "Nicole, turn to the right!" to try to get on Snooki's good side by showing they knew her Christian name.)

JWoww looked like she missed her calling as a pornstar named "Catherine Zeta Bones"

What, did ya call each other? (No, they didn't. The carpet was very diverse.)

Can she get a witness?

Inside, the ladies were positioned at tiny tables and all of us press types just had to run up and grab whomever might be available.

I will be able to upload many more videos later on Monday.

Snooki and JWoww had a line that stretched all the way back to December, so I went for Detox Icunt first, having heard she was a big Madonna fanboy fangirl fan.

Detox has a Modigliani beauty that cunty hostess Bianca Del Rio later termed "Anjelica Huston"

I loved her. She feels like this season's Chad, but with fewer miles on her. (No offense at all, Chad—I'm old, too.) She also vaguely reminded me of Chicago's Memory Lane. Anyway, she confirmed her adoration for Madonna (she saw MDNA three times).

I then went for Jade Jolie. I wanted to be sure I had time for her because she's the subject of a new mini-scandal on the show—in the past (how distant is not clear to me), she was known as "Tristan Everhard" and did bareback porn videos.

Jade: My Little Po(r)ny

She was a frickin' doll (and resembled a mix between a Dawn doll and something you'd see at ComiCon) and answered my question about the porn brouhaha smoothly and graciously. This was before I got to speak to all of her rivals, not one of whom cast even a hint of shade toward her for her movie work. From what I can tell, it was never used on the show and didn't come out among the ladies until a month or so ago. This Jade's a gem.

As much as I loved those two, I think my favorite (in person, anyway) might've been Alyssa Edwards. I know, not much of a drag name! But she doesn't need a flamgirlant name—she has a sparkling personality, is smart enough to butter up reporters in-between lengthy but never too-lengthy answers (she complimented me on my smile and nuzzled close for our photo op) and is gorgeous.

I spent half my day trudging around in the bitter cold running errands, including walking from 42nd/11th to Madison/56th and back to get my camera fixed—only to be handed a business card and sent away once I got there.

So tonight, almost nothing was gonna drag me away from cuddling with two exceptionally hairy Shih Tzu dogs.

Except Holland Taylor.

She was participating in an "Inside Look" event at The Greene Space, and I would have swum across the East River for that.

From here: Taylor transforms into Richards

Ms. Taylor—with whom I've been fascinated ever since her delicious role on Bosom Buddies—has written Ann, a Broadway-bound, one-woman show about the late, great Ann Richards that opens in March. Richards, a force in Texas politics who went from being its most successful state treasurer to an incredibly popular Democratic governor after exploding onto the national stage with her 1988 keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention. Renowned for her zingers and her vision as a progressive, she died of esophageal cancer at 73.

Taylor took the part of "Ruth" on Bosom Buddies to raise her profile for Broadway parts

The evening was a delight. Taylor, 70, has a regal air and elocution that perfectly frames her wit, her broadly engaging sense of story-telling and her intelligence. She seems like foreign-born royalty, not a chick born in Philly. The long and short of it is: She shits fabulousness.

Actually, to hear her speak of Ann Richards's magnetic charm and personable nature, it was hard to imagine who but Taylor would have played her—but it almost didn't happen. Taylor recalled wanting to do something with the governor's life story but had to remind herself, "You know people who produce things. You know George Clooney, Tom Hanks." She said she pulled over to the side of the road while driving one day because she was so overwhelmed with a rush of ideas on how to stage Ann—though it's been through several major overhauls, the basic structure of the show was born in what sounds like a 15-minute fever dream, one during which Taylor was wide awake.

WQXR's Elliott Forrest provided the Q, Taylor the A

She's performed the show in Texas, Chicago and D.C. to enthusiastic reviews. But she made clear that the most important reviews have come from Richards's family. I asked Taylor if she'd been terrified performing Ann for the governor's family the first time, and she said she'd told the family—who had cooperated with her research—that she did not expect them to attend her show; after all, this had been their dear mother. But attend it they did, and the day after she opened, Richards's two sons wrote her a glowing note of approval. Taylor became emotional remembering this (I wasn't trying to "Barbara Walters" you, Holland!), saying it freed her to never again worry about whether she was getting the real Ann—if she couldn't rely on the assurances of the Richards offspring, on whose could she rely?

It was a great talk, one that is available in its entirety (my question toward the end) here. Taylor also remembered Bosom Buddies fondly (it's where she met the man who would go on to produce Ann!), said she has been furiously texting with Tom Hanks about their upcoming concurrent Broadway runs (Hanks will appear in The Lucky Guy with their Bosom Buddies bosom buddy Peter Scolari) and said that as a part of the cast of Two and a Half Men, she spent time worrying whether Charlie Sheen would be alive from day to day during his mental break. (She says she is very fond of him, and that everyone on the show felt for him.)

I'm actually wind-burned from today! (Or is it a tan from her star power?)

After, she was kind enough to pose for a picture with me and to sign two autographs—one for me and one for my e-friend Kevin, who sends me wonderful tips for the blog as well as bringing this event to my attention in the first place.

Tickets for Ann are available here.

Oscar who?

While in L.A., I was contacted by my friend Bryan (that's us pictured) and invited to share space with him in a special VIP area near the arrivals. It put me right up front and within 10 to 30 feet of all the stars, so that I was able to spot them while they were still in the backseats of their limos, watch them emerge and wave to fans and then enter.

It was pretty fun in spite of the arctic weather (by L.A.'s standards) and long amount of time on my feet (we arrived at 11:30AM, the first stars appeared around 2:30 PM, the show started at 5PM).

The fans there were hilarious. Mostly young, they would shriek out each star's name as if he or she were their ultimate idol. (At one point, someone yelled out to Amanda Seyfriend, "Amanda! You're my #1!") One young, straight boy next to me kept shouting the oddest, most specific things, like, "Oh, my gosh! Steve Buscemi! I'm on season three of your show!" or "Jessica Chastain! You're my second favorite actress this year!" Much too close to a conversation in order to be yelled, but highly amusing.

Most of the stars gave the fans some notice, but it ranged from having to be told to do it (as Eddie Redmayne was, by his PR) to a brief wave (Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Lawrence), to repeated smiles and other silent means of communication (Nicole Kidman), to the few who came right over to us and strutted their stuff with the everyday folk (only Connie Britton, Jimmy Fallon, Jessica Chastain and George Clooney went that far).

Hugh do something to me...something that simply mystifies me...

I was most dazzled by the first star to arrive—Debra Messing. I love her, and it was exciting to see her pop out so early. The last star to arrive was Orlando Bloom, who was promptly goosed in the privates by Miranda Kerr, who used her handbag to semi-discreetly make that point.

Enjoy the belated photos...

Here's a tip—"George Jefferson" is cheap

Ned Wertimer, one of TV's most famous doormen (he was "Ralph" on The Jeffersons), has passed away at 89. I'd just met him a couple of years ago at a Hollywood Show. He and Marla Gibbs are tied with Carla Laemmle for the most inexpensive stars I've ever met—$5 apiece. I almost forgot to pay their measly fee and Wertimer turned to me and asked, in a way that tip-grubbing "Ralph" would've loved, "Are you gonna pay us?"

José and I were lucky enough to be invited by a wonderful blog reader to Maureen McGovern's Christmas-themed cabaret show Home for the Holidays at 54 Below (254 W. 54th)—and we left with our stockings stuffed with McGovern's lovely voice, great food and another delightful story of how horrible people can be.

I'd never been to 54 Below, which is the cellar part of the old Studio 54 nightclub. As such, it was exciting to be ushered in with no velvet-rope hassles. Eat your heart out, Bianca Jagger.

We had a prime seat right off the stage, which gave us a spectacular view of McGovern in front of us as well as of an over-the-hill strumpet behind us. The strumpet brought enough cheek filler to share with the class and spent the entire evening loudly chatting with/macking on her even further over-the-hill mark, who looked like a straight Roy Cohn. They were near enough that we could hear their every comment and disturbing slurp, but too far away for me to effectively shush them, so we just had to shut them out. Nobody else in the room made a peep all night.

But enough about them.

McGovern drowned them out with her command of the stage. I'd been expecting a staid Christmas program but we got anything but that—the 63-year-old diva was able to swing back and forth between expected standards (an a cappella "I'll Be Home for Christmas") to lesser known gems (José and I suspect a few others teared up over the powerful, religious-themed "Mary, Did You Know?") and right on over to charmingly goofy novelties like Tom Lehrer's "Hanukkah in Santa Monica".

 

Above, a gallery of the best-lookin' cast since Paper Dolls in the '80s!

I spent some time with the cast of Hustling in honor of its second season premiere last night, including a revealing Q&A with creator/director/star Sebastian La Cause:

The episodes we screened contained precious little of hysterical Stephen Guarino (as a porn agent) and Gary Cowling (as a career counselor)—these two should get their own spin-off!—but were otherwise filled with what we've come to expect from La Cause's hustling drama: solid acting, witty writing and unexpected situations. This season also benefits from much better production values, even though I though the kick-off season was already remarkably well done on a shoestring.

Rubin-Vega directed us to the after-party: "There's a party in your mouth and everybody's comin'!"

Daphne Rubin-Vega continues to bring real depth to a part that could easily have been a throwaway, and veteran actress Sharon Washington is on hand as the trash-talking mom who will never understand her son's direction in life.

La Cause honors Movember while celebrating his second season

Cowling gets handsy with the boss

Boys, boys, boys: Cowling, Robert Montano, La Cause, Glaszek & Rodriguez

A little atmosphere, including La Cause's introductory speech, can be soaked up here.

While there, I ran into my buddies Andrew Glaszek, one of the main stars, and Guto Bittencourt. Both, like La Cause, are Broadway Bares alumni. Guto's got a hot song and video that's about to drop (stay tuned) and Andrew was teasing us about sexy developments involving his Hustling character. Sounds like La Cause's character has been a bad influence!

After-party boys Guto & Andrew

Speaking of which, this season definitely ups the ante when it comes to sexy scenes; everyone was showing ass crack, including Guarino (who I bet had that in his contract—he's proud of it!) and there were several tastefully and tastily filmed horizontal throw-downs, including an eye-opening kick-off featuring a busty Wilson Cruz.

If anything about the series feels unreal, it's how appealing the johns are. But while titillating, the hustling isn't really the core of Hustling, ironically.

Who nose? Rodriguez plays a pornstar who parties a little too hard...

Make sure to watch at www.hustling.tv or via the official YouTube channel.

After the jump, a bonus interview with new (and caliente) cast member Facundo Rodriguez...

 

Above, see then-and-now shots of most of the following stars!

All good things must come to an end, and I'm not only referring to the lives of some of The Hollywood Show's older participants—I'm talking about the show's longtime association with the Burbank Marriott Airport, the hotel that's hosted the festivities for a number of years. After the show this past weekend, it moves closer to LAX, which had plenty of fans, vendors and stars bitching and moaning.

I'm also referring to my companionship with my previously inexhaustible Chexy, my right-hand man. He announced he was finally fed up with these events, so while I was able to crash with him a few nights I couldn't rely on him to play personal photographer for me.

Landers sanitizer

Luckily, I nabbed my autograph-seeking cohorts Bran and Rich and we made a day of it.

Yes, I'm aware I look like a maniac—shazbot!

We started out in line for the biggest star there, comedy genius Jonathan Winters, 86. While I held our place in line, the guys used the bathroom and chatted up the Landers Sisters, who I wanted to get, too. I texted them to get their asses back over to me.

After suffering a fall earlier in the year, he'd canceled a previous Hollywood Show. I had a photo of him with Phyllis Diller that she signed for me shortly before her death, so I presented that to Jonathan for his autograph. He was touched when I told him Phyllis had inquired about his health during our last visit, then he launched into a (non-serious) tirade about how Bob Hope wasn't funny and couldn't tell a joke to save his life. Winters is in a wheelchair now and very soft-spoken, but managed a big smile for our photo.

Oh, Henry!

Since he was right next to him, we went for Marvin Kaplan, 85. Best known to me as "Henry" on Alice, he was really sweet and enjoyed seeing the vintage photo I brought for him to sign.

This was my biggest show for having unusual photos that the stars went ape over; I had to pause while no fewer than four of them had the photos scanned for their archives.

I'll be appearing in a warped version of Love Letters with Audrey & Judy

Next up was a trip to the Landers Sisters' table. I started with Audrey, 56, asking her what it had been like to compete on The $25,000 Pyramid, an obsession of mine. She told me, "I was pretty smart—back then!" and said it was the most stressful thing she's ever done because she always felt the pressure to win for the contestants. She said she was glad she did it but that she wouldn't want to do the new version.

Did a photo with her in her funky, green-sequined party dress, then got Judy, 53, to join us in making a Matthew sandwich on Landers.

Both were bubbly and sweet but did seem to have a slight reserve about them, like they understood the oddball nature of the event. Judy had her bombshell daughter Kristy, 20, with her, a gorgeous girl who attracted the attention of Nickelodeon TV star Drake Bell, 26.

Drake's belle

I reminded Drake that he knows me from my stint as a teen-mag editor and he was superfriendly and did a nice shot with Brian, who likes these kiddie shows more than kiddies do. I warned Drake to double-check Kristy's age and he immediately said, "Already thought of that. She's 20."

Necks were lined up, begging to be sucked

Right across the way was True Blood's Sam Trammell, 43, and while I have never watched the show, he was too cute to pass up. I had a pretty unflattering but pretty shirtless photo of him with a surfboard that my friends insisted was too horrible to show. I made Brian promise not to call attention to it, but I of course was later referred to as "my friend who brought you that horrible picture of you."

True love

Sam cringed as he looked at his imperfect (but still, to me, unattainable!) bod. But a classy pro, he gamely signed it and couldn't have been nicer.

Further to my post about meeting President Obama (FOUR. MORE. YEARS. I mean it!), here are the fruits—the ultimate pic-with and my signed Newsweek. I guess that Newsweek, the only thing I thought to bring last-minute for his autograph, was a great choice. Win or lose, he signed one of the last printed copies of the magazine, one that confidently asserts he will become the "Democrats' Reagan" in his second four years and one whose cover story was written by the manic-depressive Andrew Sullivan.

And regardless of the outcome of the vote in two and a half weeks—and I'm still confident, if hardly cocky, that he will win—I will always know I did what I could to help and that I met and thanked the guy while he was in office and when he needed support the most.

Dry three-way: Me, Coco & José

When did drag shows get so good?

After the recent back-to-back amazing Dina Martina shows, I wasn't sure if Coco Peru—whom I had never seen live, only in movies and on TV—would continue our winning streak. But she certainly did, and in a most unexpected way. As I told her after the show, I had gone in confident that she'd be entertaining, but hadn't dreamed her set would be so moving. Empowering is more like it.

Ed Begley Jr. talking the talk and walking the walk by riding the subway in L.A. It ain't easy being green!